Short Story: The next Chapter

May 4th, 2016 - Lunchtime, coast line of one of the small Isles of Scilly

It had been days since she had some real sleep. Sure, she went to bed with Kat occasionally but she never really slept. Too much was going on in here head, the buzzing was far too loud.

But it was silent now. The tea still worked. It had originally been intended to lower the anima levels that caused her nightmares. The nightmares now were there regardless of the anima. But now the German used the tea to silence the buzzing when she wanted to be alone, have some privacy.

She stared down at the engagement rings in her hand, the little box with the simple, hardened titanium bands. Tears were already rolling down her cheeks, her sobs drowned by the sounds of the waves.

Why did I even think that she would one day return to me?

The question burned in her mind. Dominated everything.

“I love you Julia, but I can not stand this.”

The toned woman rose to her feet and picked up the first ring for a closer, final inspection. It had the words ‘Forever in love, forever bound Rovena & Julia’ engraved into them.

“I guess that would have been a lie, Julia, hmm? If you really loved me, you would have been with me. Would be with me.”

Her voice still was tender as she spoke as if her former girlfriend was next to her. Then she shook her head. This had to end. If Rovena was to be effective again, she had to end all of this.

Maybe Jessica was right and she just needed to let off some steam on a pour soul and torture her. Maybe she should do it like Kyle and just have the painful emotion be removed from her consciousness. Maybe she just had to find a way to be strong and buckle up as Eboni told her. Maybe.

Maybe all of that.

Another sad look found the ring in her hand.

“Good bye Julia. There is no room for you or Sophie in my life anymore. For a few months, you two made it the best I could think of. But for the last months it has been the worst I could think of because of you, your choice. It changed everything.”

Rovena took a deep breath, then threw the metal band far into the ocean.

I should send her these words. They were good.

The German nodded to herself and dried her tears with the cuffs of her blouse. She would have to change before returning to office.

Her eyes found the second ring, it had the same engraving.

“Some things are not meant to be. And I am not meant to be happy.”

She threw the ring with the tiny box, send it to the ocean just like its counterpart.

Not meant to be happy with her I should have said.

Rovena pulled out her phone and checked her message. Mostly work related, but Kat’s avatar was all over it and for some reason seeing her, even on a work related message made her smile.

I have to leave the past behind. Kat deserves it and Kyle now needs me as his handler, not his jealous wife. I need to move on.

She swallowed, then nodded to herself.

And I need to find a way to tame that bee. I’m not it’s plaything, it is part of me, has to serve me like my hand or leg does. You are right Jessica, I can be stronger than this. Am supposed to be.

After a long moment of staring onto the water Rovena headed to what used to their bedroom, but now just was a room with covered furniture.

This needs to change as well. The black ops base needs to happen.

She searched for the well hidden diary with only a few pages written in it. The German ripped them out carefully and folded them, slipped them into her pocket.

Jessica when you gifted this to me, you said it is for me. I should make it about me again.

She started to write.

Getting my life back

Rovena nodded to herself and smiled. This sounded like a plan. She would hurt people, but she could not care less. She allowed them to hurt her for the last year. This year would be different.